Tuesday, August 11, 2009

On Being a Sociopath...

So even though it's an enormous disadvantage I take pride in my mental disorders mainly due to the fact that so many creative people seem to have them. There are, however, downsides to being a sociopath. Things get on your nerves very easily. It can be very draining when you have a stressful job. You have to set aside enough time to break out into a monologue every time someone agitates you. And if you're like me that's a LOT of time. I queen out maybe 60 to 70 times a day. But above all else you know what REALLY gets on my nerves? Everything. Traffic, loud people, people that talk so low I can't hear them, people doing cartwheels, loud sinks, databases, puppets that don't obey the laws of physics properly, precipices, analogies, race cars, the south, magnetism, talking dogs, flutes (they're so pretentious), laser tag, wallpaper, percentages, wobbly headed babies (can't they just hold their fucking heads up!), prince, shape shifters, Michaelangelo (the teenage mutant ninja turtle not the artist), desktop pictures of outdoor scenes, unicycles (nobody fucking wants to ride one of those!), the number eleven, decepticons, question marks, prizes, mammograms, waiting, the starship Reliant, bangers and mash, the french, check marks, Glen Close, radio waves, elephant man (god just kill yourself already!), the year 1987, and Wonder Woman just to name a few. So my point is that sociopaths have to work three times as hard to do the same job as everyone else! So we should, like, get longer breaks or something.

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