Friday, August 28, 2009

Bomb Squad

So I was driving to work today and noticed this big black fire truck. Black? Since when are fire trucks black, right? Then upon closer inspection I found that it was a "Bomb Squad" truck! Wow! There's a bomb squad? Who knew. I mean, what the fuck must they do in their free time! Fire fighters just work out and slide up and down a pole all day. Well, maybe not "up" the pole. Anyway, so yeah what does the bomb squad do all day? Surely there are a very small number of bomb threats, it's gotta be a smaller incidence rate than fires. So I have a theory, I think they're making and diffusing bombs, cuz surely you need lots of practice to get past the hysteria that must ensue when you're faced with an actual bomb. A fire is one thing but a bomb that could just explode your face at any moment must be somewhat stressful! So they probably just make bombs and then hide them in each others gym bags, then that person has to diffuse it, just to prepare, ya know. Every bomb they make gets trickier for the other person, "didn't expect that did ya" they must joke. They probably make bombs out of milk containers that go off if you drink straight out of it, probably have bombs that go off if you leave the women's room toilet seat up, bombs that spray acid in your face if you run in and out of the house too much on a really hot day, bombs that go off if you use the word "guesstimate". Stuff like that I'm sure.

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