Monday, June 28, 2010

"Computer Person"

We've all heard this bullshit before, "oh I'm not a computer person". What? How, in what way exactly, is this acceptable anymore?! That's like saying, "oh I'm not a job person". Sure I don't want to work but that doesn't mean I have the option to not do it! "Oh I'm not a car person". "Oh I'm not a bathing in water person". And they always say it like it's totally ok, like they're saying that they're not a serial killer, like knowing how to use something that is in a typical persons life about 40% of the day is something that would be just crazy to actually try and figure out. Man up and just fucking learn how to send an email and launch a web browser you stupid cunts! It's 2010 not 1958! How can anyone not know the difference between a file browser and a web browser!!! That's like needing someone to explain to you what a dust mop is for! How did these people figure out how to use a refrigerator! Can you imagine that inner monologue, "so, wait, you take something cold and put it inside and it gets warm?" "No, wait, does it open?" "If I open the door to it will something bad happen, OH I CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT!" I'M NOT A REFRIGERATOR PERSON! I need a refrigerator geek to come do this for me. While you're at it why don't you just say "Oh I'm a woman, I only know what my husband tells me to know". Now, woman aren't the only offenders they just happen to represent the largest percentage of offenders and since I'm a gay and can't be confused and distracted by the prospect of having sex with them I can be much more objective and less tolerant of their bullshit. I heard a chick the other day say that she cannot be trusted to try and fix her own computer issues. EVEN WITH A CAREFULLY PRINTED LIST OF INSTRUCTIONS! This is not ok. The idea that she didn't even have a rudimentary idea of what an operating system was, or what backing up meant, or what a computer even looked like (I think she tried typing her password into her purse a few times) is just lazy. I have to admit, I don't really know how to cook, or about cooking in general. I mean, I have pots and forks and stuff but it's not like I'm passionate about it. BUT I CAN MAKE MYSELF A PLATE OF SCRAMBLED EGGS IF I NEED TO! I know what a whisker is for! AND I HATE COOKING! But I bloddy can, if, like, the need were to arise! I wouldn't just say, "oh I can't do that, I need a cooking geek to do it for me". No that's not it, you just don't want to try because you think it's totally acceptable to not want to. Because only "computer geeks" can know how to turn a computer on, a mere mortal surely can't be expected to do more than click on stuff and stare in bewilderment like a one year old looking at an aquarium.

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