So everybody has their own idiosyncra... syncran... idio... Look I'm not an English major, everybody has some fucked up shit they do. You've all heard of sleep walking, well I in fact… do not sleep walk. I sleep "draw". Which means I wake up in a veritable sea of little torn out magazine pieces with all manner of weirdness emblazoned on them. I sift through them in dramatic puzzlement, "a man with two dicks for a nose". Another is a rendition of a vagina, no wait it's a hamburger, no… It's a vagina hamburger. This one appears to be a kitten wearing little leather chaps and smoking a joint. I don't know where it comes from, I think it has something to do with my devastating beauty, abundant and open sexuality and disturbing imagination. So one night I decided to put an end to this by removing all the pens and paper products from my night stand. I awoke light headed and nauseous to find the words, "very funny faggot" carved into my right arm. Apparently my subconscious is not only a bigot but also left handed as that is where I was holding the bloody nail filer. I left a Monte Blanc pen and a $50 notepad for him the next night. He left me a note saying, "you're very kind" with a little heart dotting the i. Along with a drawing of an eviscerated cow with a severed arm shoved down it's throat. Awww, that silly Luciano (that's what I named him) he's at it again!
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