Gay Writers Block

Damn writing a blog is some seriously challenging shit yo! I'm out of ideas so this is mostly filler. I hate when I can't think of anything to say, but that's usually when I'm lying about something or I mixed the wrong pills. Oh yeah, hey I'm thinking about making a sock puppet. Because I thought it would be cool to bring it out when I talk to myself. You know just so the other voice in my head has a mouth of it's own. But I'm not sure about the haircut to give it. Now obviously a bob is the first thing that comes to mind but it's a little cliche. So that leads me the the conclusion that people are dumb and I wanna kill them all. No wait, a mohawk.

Sleep Doodle

So everybody has their own idiosyncra... syncran... idio... Look I'm not an English major, everybody has some fucked up shit they do. You've all heard of sleep walking, well I in fact… do not sleep walk. I sleep "draw". Which means I wake up in a veritable sea of little torn out magazine pieces with all manner of weirdness emblazoned on them. I sift through them in dramatic puzzlement, "a man with two dicks for a nose". Another is a rendition of a vagina, no wait it's a hamburger, no… It's a vagina hamburger. This one appears to be a kitten wearing little leather chaps and smoking a joint. I don't know where it comes from, I think it has something to do with my devastating beauty, abundant and open sexuality and disturbing imagination. So one night I decided to put an end to this by removing all the pens and paper products from my night stand. I awoke light headed and nauseous to find the words, "very funny faggot" carved into my right arm. Apparently my subconscious is not only a bigot but also left handed as that is where I was holding the bloody nail filer. I left a Monte Blanc pen and a $50 notepad for him the next night. He left me a note saying, "you're very kind" with a little heart dotting the i. Along with a drawing of an eviscerated cow with a severed arm shoved down it's throat. Awww, that silly Luciano (that's what I named him) he's at it again!